The Last Moments
The final semester of college is a world that is hard to explain. You are trying so hard to keep up with a double life—one where you're a hard-working, involved student pursuing her dream job, and one where you're a social 21-year old cherishing her last moments with her friends. The stress from January to April of your senior year of college is hard to put into words, but the few that I would choose are trying to be your best self.
There is a quote by Roald Dahl that sums this feeling up better than I could, and that is “I think I have this thing where I need everybody to think that I am the greatest, the ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox,’ and if they aren’t completely knocked out, dazzled, and kind of intimidated by me then I don’t feel good about myself. Foxes traditionally like to court danger, hunt prey, and outsmart predators, and that is what I am actually good at. I think at the end of the day I am just [a wild animal].”
This analogy resonates with me as I finish college. I am just a student, and I am good at staying involved, finishing my homework, and maintaining a social life—but I feel pulled to do more. I want to leave an impression on those around me. After I graduate, I hope those around me can say they enjoyed their time with me. It becomes harder and harder to put this year into words. As the end of my college career draws nearer, my friends and I find ourselves going for the same jobs, fighting for higher pay, making our resumes the most pristine, and striving for personal success. Navigating these experiences and this pivotal period of my life has been hard, but here are some things that I have learned.
Impress Yourself, but Don’t Overwork Yourself
There are always things happening in a college setting—clubs, classes, events, and so much more—and they are all really exciting. By your senior year, it is common for others to have already found their footing in what they like to do. For me, that meant getting involved. Since my sophomore year, I have been very involved in my school’s extracurricular activities, and it has always been something I could handle well. During my senior year, however, it was more difficult to navigate the pressure of staying happy and truly “living in the moment” before I walk across the stage in April.
The question I keep asking myself, though, is how am I to truly live in the moment if there is always so much going on that I feel like a zombie?
There is only so much planning that can go into a week. I can plan to attend my classes, my work shifts, my meetings, my events, and plan when I am hanging out with my friends—Google Calendar is my best friend, but am I really living if I am following a set schedule?
What happens when things don’t go according to plan? When I got rear-ended last Thursday, when I was hospitalized for pneumonia last October, when I found a bat in my house in December and had to go through two rounds of the rabies vaccination? There are so many outside factors that aren’t convincing me that I am really living, just surviving. Balancing all of these aspects of my life has been tough, but I keep going with the idea that I need to say yes to everything.
The ‘Yes’ Year
Without being able to stop the clock, there are nine months left, and time is running out. After the last 9 months of college, most of your friends move away and start their ‘adult lives.’ From living in the dorms and off-campus apartments, people are going on their own to start their nine-to-five jobs, move in with their significant others, etc.—and it can feel so isolating. The pressure of making as many lasting memories as you can develops into what is known as "the yes year."
The concept of the ‘yes’ year is to say yes to everything. Your friends want to go to karaoke tonight even though you have an 8:00 a.m. class tomorrow? You go. Your roommates are staying up late chatting in the living room? If you go to bed, you will miss those moments with them before your lease ends. Your professor asks you to present to a class? Why would you not advance your professional skills?
The whole idea of your final year is to fill your day by saying yes to everything. You never want to look back on college and say, “I wish I went to that party” or “I wish I took this class instead.” My advice is: just do it. From the time you’re 18 all the way to 21, you have full control over your life with the least amount of consequences. While you still can, hop in the driver's seat and pave your own path. Go to the bars, join the intramural team, raise your hand in class– you will simply never be in this position again. How does that make you feel?
Lonely vs. Alone
The comparison game reaches its peak when you are about to enter a corporate realm. Because of this never-ending, unspoken fight, people take the second semester to stop these conversations and isolate themselves to work on their materials to truly be the best of the best. Hiding what jobs you have applied for is common, and not in a game of sabotage. It is so isolating to watch your friends get jobs you wanted, or watch others get interviews when you haven’t heard back from anybody. It is hard to separate the ideas of being lonely and being alone at this time. College seniors need to take time to work on their own careers and prepare for what is to come professionally, and it is not something that you need to be embarrassed about doing. You are not alone in this process; everybody around you is doing it.
College is often portrayed as the best four years of your life—and I have learned that you really can do that. From my experience, my time in college really has been the best of my life thus far, but it also hasn’t been easy. I have found my own ways to manage this, Google Calendar, writing things down, celebrating the small moments, and so much more. The end is approaching, so try not to stare it blankly in the face when it gets here. I work two jobs, play on an intramural volleyball team, am on the executive board for two clubs, take 15 credits, and have a social life. I thrive on a busy schedule, so it has worked for me. I am so scared for what is to come, but I feel prepared to face whatever lies ahead. but reality is staring at me blankly in the face as I approach it.
Bridie Tolley is a graduating senior at Grand Valley State University studying Advertising and Public Relations with a Public Relations emphasis and a Digital Studies minor. At GVSU, she is on an intramural volleyball team as well as the president of the Campus Activities Board and the podcast director for PR Hangover. PR Hangover is the podcast that GVPRSSA produces, and she loves this opportunity to get to network in unique ways. This is her first year on the PRSSA E-Board and she cannot express her excitement enough.