The 3 Things I Learned From My Failed Internship
Yes, you read that right. My failed internship. While three months ago, this made me feel like a complete and utter failure, it has since given so much insight on the professional I desire to be.
I first found the listing on a whim when pursuing internships in Nashville, TN and found what appeared to be a dream of an internship. It honestly felt too good to be true, but I needed to try and so, I applied. A few weeks and some interviews later, I was offered the position and it seemed like fate. And it sure felt like it for the first month I was there. My superior was praising all the work I did and was so impressed with me.
I felt as though I was living my dream, until I wasn’t.
As I continued on, I found myself in a situation where I felt that my supervisor was being overly critical of me and my work. I first chalked this up to my perceived lack of feedback on my work product, where I reasoned that I had been given a task, completed it, and came back only to find harsh criticism without coaching for improvement. Like I was dismissed, dropped in the middle of the ocean without any direction on how to find land, floating aimlessly. As this progressed, what I thought was the work product criticism turned into more personal criticism, which then turned into what felt like calling my integrity and personal ethics into question. This was the breaking point.
I found myself weighing the pros and cons of this internship and found no benefit for me to stick around any longer. So with the support of some incredible people, I left the internship. While processing this loss, here are the critical points I took away from this experience:
Not everyone is meant to be a mentor
Until now, I have been lucky to only have incredible mentors in my life. So much so that I didn’t understand the concept of someone not being a mentor to me. Therefore, to have this seemingly strong female be my supervisor simply felt like my next stepping stone. However, our misunderstanding was rooted in I needed a teacher, and she wanted a fully formed employee which I wasn't. This in turn, made me learn how I would like to treat an intern some day as I would want them to get the leader that I needed at this time in my career.
The only person who is allowed to determine your worth as a professional, is you
Now go back and read that again. As a budding professional, I was slowly building my self-worth and confidence in the field and the mistake I made in this process was looking for validation in others to help validate myself. Rather than making me feel like I was worthy enough for this field, this actually broke me down into a million little pieces. The next three months were spent trying to pick up all the pieces of my self worth and glue them back together, which is honestly not something I am finished doing yet. But now I know the worth of having confidence and pride in myself, and knowing that I am actually “enough” for this industry.
Hard work always works for you
I’ve always been an extremely hard worker. The people around me saw this and were in my corner because they knew who I was at my core. I was lucky enough to have a friend who vouched for me and helped me acquire a new internship in the industry. I’m still working with them today, and it has actually been a dream this time around.
This summer I learned so much about life, personal and professional. Your first internship could be a fail, but it will still teach you more than you could have ever imagined. Even though this internship failed….I didn’t. Moving on and moving up is personal growth. I’m embracing it.
About McKenna:
McKenna Winkelmann is a fifth year senior double majoring Advertising & Public Relations and Dance at Grand Valley State University. McKenna is currently a Publicity Intern at Adkins Publicity based out of Music City, Nashville, as well as an Account Associate for GrandPR, an accredited student-run PR Firm. She has been involved with PRSSA for the duration of both of her senior years, as well as being actively involved in her sorority, Alpha Omicron Pi, in her first four years at GV before becoming an alumna of the chapter. After finally graduating, she is looking to continue her work in Entertainment PR and combine her strengths from both of her degrees. In her free time, you may find McKenna teaching dance at her local Grand Rapids studio, drinking copious amounts of coffee or snuggling her pampered stray cat, Eddie.
